Creating Time

I've recently discovered ArtellaLand, an online community for creators of all kinds. The site owner, Marney Makridakis, has a new book Creating Time: Using Creativity to Reinvent the Clock and Reclaim Your Life. How could I not be intrigued by a title like that?

At first, I could not figure this girl out. She seems to want to tweak all important words to suit her purpose. For example, Artella is created from art and telling. She gives ARTsignments, talks about calendures, and projects her theory of wellativity! My spell check is going crazy here!

But after reading, digesting might be a better term or maybe processing, her book, I can tell you what she is about. She is about fun and gratitude and living life to the fullest with those you love. She is about creating art and stories to see within and share without.

This book is gorgeous, colorful, art filled, activity rich, and thought provoking.

Here's how she explains Creating Time:

...there is an amazing power held by each of us to imagine, create, and completely reshape the way we experience time. For too long we have been servants of time when in fact, time can and should serve us. We can drop all the archaic views and limitations of time that have held us back from fully embracing the wild beautiful truth: time is not a defined line; it is instead a vibrant, completely moldable, layered, multi-faceted work of art that is in your hands to create and design, each and every day.

I engaged deeply with the chapter Kronos and Kairos, Greek words for two ways of experiencing time. Kronos is linear time, chronology, the time of clocks and calendars. Kairos is numinous, spiritual, circular time. When I am deep into my writing or deep into joy, I am in Kairos. Meditation and being with people I love is Kairos. Creating is Kairos. And in those moments, time is very elastic. Sometimes an hour seems like a moment, sometimes a moment an hour. When I am in Kronos, I am very aware of time, schedules must be kept, obligations met, productivity documented. I prefer Kairos but know Kronos has a place.

As a writer, I do not often create visual art. I love to zentangle, to collage, to work with fiber but these were side activities, squeezed in at odd moments. The beauty of this book is that it has provided a bridge to creating visual art as part of my Kairos time, spiraling me more deeply into my creativity.  And that is a huge gift. Thank you Marney!

The Pear

I'm blogging today at  the Story Circle Network on their blog,  One Woman's Day. Please click here to read my post about this ornament. May all your holiday memories be sweet ones!

Winter Solstice Sisters

In 2009 I held my first winter solstice gathering. The Winter Solstice marks the longest night of the year, from that date forward, there is a bit more light every day until the Summer Solstice in June. It was such a success that I have continued the practice of hosting my treasured friends for a ceremony and meal to celebrate the return of the light.

We begin by creating a sacred space, passing a light until all candles are lit. Each woman speaks in turn, naming what she wants to leave in the darkness and what she wants to embrace in the coming light. Each woman also chooses a word as her focus for the next year.  Part of the magic is how intently we all listen to one another, honoring that woman and her choices.

 

This year I provided Sharpies, markers, pastels, colored pencils, magazines for collage cut outs, letter stamps, and glitter glue to decorate package tags with the chosen word to use as book marks or to tie onto a gear shift or mirror. There were also round balls that could be decorated with the word and hung on the Christmas tree.

Both the tags and the balls were creatively done!

As in the past, the celebration concludes with a shared meal. This year's menu included antipasto, Joy Behar's lasagna, vegetarian acorn squash lasagna with walnut cream, three green salads and a delicious lemon cake. It was an evening of food for the body and food for the soul.

Winter Solstice is a time for contemplation and renewal. It's a time to appreciate friendships, open our hearts to the possible, and state our intentions for the year to come. I'm grateful to have these women in my life.

Solvitur Ambulando – It Is Solved by Walking

The sign usually hangs over the doorway I exit before walking. The medals are a validation of myself as an athlete.

I started having pain in my right hip. First just a twinge when I stood up, then a sharp pain when I walked, then it became a consistent ache. My first response was denial. This is not really a problem, just a little blip on the fitness radar. But it persisted to the point where I no longer wanted to walk and could see that my gait was changing as I favored that right hip.

I've never considered myself athletic. I was never on a competitive team.  My one and only sport was cheerleading in high school. When my husband’s betrayal surfaced we began to walk together on the advice of a therapist. It was supposed to be a time for us to connect and to talk through some of the problems. It was meant to be healing. I needed something to dissipate the extreme angst. Walking helped me. I can’t say it was healing for the relationship but it was healing for me. When I first heard the phrase, Solvitur Ambulando (Latin, translates to “It is solved by walking,” attributed to Saint Augustine), I resonated with the truth of it. I often cried as I walked but I kept telling myself that for me the only way out is through. I would walk long enough for the endorphins to kick in and clarity to surface. 

I became a proficient walker, participating first in 5 and 10K’s, then multiple half marathons and even completed one full marathon. One was enough! I realized that I did not want to devote the time necessary to be physically prepared to walk twenty-six point two miles. But walking remained an integral part of my life.

I have been examining beliefs I hold and questioning if they are true or simply ingrained old messages. One has to do with my body. I believed that if your body changed in some way, you had to accept and live with that change. So the possibility of having arthritis and no longer being able to count on my body to carry me through my healing, health affirming, clarity inducing walks was terrifying.

I decided to not acquiesce. I decided to try and walk through and to the other side of the pain. My normal walking habit was three miles in the morning with an occasional second walk later in the day. Because of the hip pain I had not walked much before leaving on a trip to Paris, a walker’s paradise, but did walk every day while I was there. These were not mapped out distance walks but rather walks to get someplace. In Paris all the “someplaces” were wonderful so my motivation was high.

Upon returning home I revisited Solvitur Ambulando. Another way of interpreting the phrase is  “walk it off.” I decided to start anew as a walker, to go back to the beginning. Our veterinarian suggested that my Yorkie, Buddy, needed more exercise. I decided to walk one mile every day with Buddy. The first time I did it, I cried most of the way. It hurt. The second day, it hurt a little less. After about a week, it only hurt for the first half mile. After two weeks, I still felt discomfort but it was easily manageable. After three weeks, I realized that I had walked the mile pain free! Eureka!

So what have I learned? On the physical level, I learned I can change my body. I can make decisions and changes that impact my body in an affirmative way. I am not separate from my body. On the thinking level, I learned I can change a belief. I can question whether something I have long held as a truth is accurate. And on an emotional level, I learned I can choose beliefs and actions that support my spiritual and physical growth and release those that don’t.

I literally and figuratively walked through the pain and out the other side, refreshed and renewed.

Solvitur Ambulando

Storm Body

Judy Abrahamson (writing)

Hurricane Faye

Wind
Refreshing, caressing
Blowing acceptance over naked skin
Lightning overhead, surf below
Healing coolness all around
I am at peace
My body is my own.

Judy Abrahamson

I met this poet several years ago when she shared Hurricane Faye at a writing workshop. I was just beginning this journey to connect with my body and her poem struck a deep chord. It made me cry. I loved it so much that I asked her to submit it to Story Circle Network's annual anthology True Words from Real Women, 2008. I was editor that year with my dear friend and fellow writer Becca Taylor.

What resonated most was the line, "My body is my own." I was feeling so bad about myself and my body. So unloved, so rejected, and so disconnected. That wild hurricane, her oneness with it, the peace of laying claim to her own body made me aware of what I didn't have and what I both want and need. It is a long journey from living and being mostly for someone else to recognizing and honoring myself. To knowing my own beauty and value. To claiming my own power. It is not an easy journey. It is not quick. It is not finished. But words like these heal and encourage and inspire.

When ever a storm rolls through Ohio, accompanied by thunder and lightning and wind, I remember this poem. And I take time to connect with my own storm body, to appreciate who I am and who I am becoming.

Cheat Sheet for Life

 Katrina Kittle is one of my favorite authors. She has four published novels thus far, each one taking a "big" issue and skillfully weaving together a story with vivid characters and poignant subplots that deepens understanding and evokes reflection.  She had me with her first book,  Traveling Light, about a woman, her much-loved dying brother, AIDS, and the question of who we are and why we make the choices we do. Over an eighteen month period, I'd lost a brother-in-law, a teaching partner, and a fellow doctoral student to AIDS. Katrina got it all exactly right: the frustration with the disease, the disheartening lack of compassion juxtaposed with the extreme kindness of others, the pain and heartache, the grief, and the lessons experienced.

Her latest book The Blessings of the Animals is about the end of a marriage, grief, healing, family, and the powerful role animals can play in our lives. Having recently experienced extreme betrayal and divorce... this one hit home too. A dear friend invited me to her book club meeting where Katrina was the guest author while we discussed this book. The facilitator had unique discussion starters. Katrina's books are laden with rich nuggets that inspire mind forays out of the current story. This passage, about an interaction between the protagonist's teacher brother and one of his students, is one of them.


"Nobody gets the good stuff all the time...Remember that." He wished he knew something more comforting to offer. He wished... he could spare them, his students: that he could pass them the cheat sheet for their future lives. 


 The facilitator posed the question, if you could provide a cheat sheet for life, what would you share?

Mine was "Face what you know." I've learned, the hard way, that ignoring the elephant in the room leads to heartache. That while it is difficult to face unpleasant truths, it is better to face them right away as delay increases the cost and wastes precious time. Your body is recording and experiencing the problem even if you are not allowing the thought to surface. I mistakenly thought that focusing on the good meant ignoring the bad. I know now that you can celebrate the good and still name the difficulties and treat them with loving kindness. Problems are not failures, but ignoring them will lead to failure.

Katrina's was, "Always make make new mistakes." As soon as she said it I felt my gut clench. I've been trying to not berate myself for the mistakes I made with my ex, for tolerating too much for too long. For taking care of him and his needs while sacrificing my own. I kept hoping that he would see what he was destroying and join with me to rebuild. And so I became afraid of hope and afraid of making more mistakes that were detrimental to my physical and emotional health and well being. I learned that hope can be life affirming when I hope for myself, for what I can choose. Pinning my hope on someone else is  giving away my strength. Hearing "Always make new mistakes" turned another page. Mistakes are part of life. The trick is to make new mistakes. To be trying new things that may or may not work out perfectly but are still learning experiences. What I was afraid of was making the same mistakes. As I realized that, I felt my gut unclench and my center fill with... hope, peace, possibility. Yep, this definitely goes on my cheat sheet.

Turning Toward the Light

Fourteen women, candles, intentions, and sharing from the heart make for a magical solstice. I sent evites to my women friends whom I thought would embrace the celebration of the return of the light. The winter solstice marks the longest night and therefore the shortest day of the year. Each day forward we have a bit more light until the Summer Solstice when the cycle turns and the nights lengthen again. I asked them to wear something white or sparkly. I asked that they think about what they would like to leave in the darkness and what they would like to embrace in the light. My final request was that they select a word that best represents their intentions for 2011.

This is how my guests were welcomed. The wreaths were custom made for me with bay leaves and the fresh, crisp smell was as inviting as the candle lit sidewalk. The heart shape above the wreaths is my garden goddess. She stays out year round, watching over my plants and trees. Three early arriving friends set out and lit the luminaries. The recent snow added to the light and the night birds were stirring.

Candle lit path

Bay leaf wreath

Owls' eye view

We formed a circle, each woman holding a white candle. After passing the flame one to another, the ceremony began. We recognized the day and spoke into the circle the names of three friends who could not be present but were in our hearts. All listened attentively as each spoke what was being left, what was being embraced, and her word choice.

 Each woman's chosen word beautifully reflected her intentions. I provided each with a locust pod as a keepsake on which to write her word with a silver Sharpie. The seed pod represented rebirth and renewal. I then offered to make a second pod for each woman, marked with her word, that I would add onto a wreath and place in my writing room where I would honor and hold her intention with as my own.

Locust Pods

My Chosen Word



I'm looking forward to spending a morning after the holidays assembling this wreath and thinking with love and affection about my Solstice sisters. It feels good to take time to connect with the cycle of nature, to pause and reflect.